It sounded ridiculous.

“Dating is hard, and we need training to learn to be authentic, open, kind, and brave with each other in the dating world,” said the message from the founder.

“Our events are fun, safe and uplifting,” said the website. It continued, “Each event begins with the facilitators speaking on sexuality, intimacy, and spirituality in the world of dating. Then you'll engage in a series of fun and enriching exercises that will enable you to meet a larger number of other participants, and share with them in more personal ways.”

Ugh, I thought.

The last thing I want to do is meet someone through a therapy group.

I'm not really into exposing my pain to strangers, and the website made it seem a lot like an encounter group.

And yet — I am new to New York. And I'm looking for friends. And meeting people is difficult, even in a city of 8 million where you are surrounded by people all the time, in the subway, on the streets.

I don't actually find dating that hard, but meeting friends? That's like climbing Mount Everest in a prom dress and heels. Or hailing a taxi with a dog in tow.

So last Friday, I went to Deeper Dating at New York's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center. There were about 30 of us there, ranging from our late 20s to early 60s. And the most amazing thing happened.

I made friends.

Or at least potential friends.

And maybe even a potential date or two.

Partly this was because the women who came to the event are the sorts of women I like to meet: smart, interesting, funny, social, involved in many different types of things.

Partly this was because of, yes, the format of the program. At three hours, it was a bit long, but the facilitator made sure we met nearly everyone. Even better, in large groups and small, we answered questions that revealed more than just what we do, where we live, and where we're from.

We talked about who inspired us. What brought us joy. What piece of literature made us think differently. Who we really value in our lives and what we're grateful for.

These are the sort of conversations you don't have at a bar, and rarely have over dinner. They seem too hokey, right? We can't imagine bringing up these things ourselves unless we're really comfortable with someone — or we're in college, and it's two in the morning, and we're giddy from beer, pizza, and the amazing mental gymnastics of trying to study for the next day's test.

Also key to the success of the evening was that everything we talked about was positive, which gave us all a happy, cheery, rosy glow. We were showing off our best selves to each other. It made us sparkle and it left us bonded as a group.

We couldn't choose who we spoke to — instead, we had to talk to whoever was in front of us at the time — so I met women that I wouldn't have necessarily had a conversation with in a bar, because I'm not attracted to them, or they're not attracted to me, or we're far apart in age, or we don't on the surface have any interests in common.

Dive below the surface, however, and what we found were shared values — which are ultimately more important.

Afterwards, a lot of us went out in sets of three and four and six to continue the conversation, to keep learning more about each other.

Deeper Dating is great not because it necessarily leads to lifelong romance (though the facilitator assured us that sometimes it does) but because even in a crowded city, we are all hungry for connection. We want to really know others, and we want to be known.

But most of us don't have “connecting” skills. We might have networking skills, or presentation skills, or teammate skills. But meeting strangers and connecting with them on something other than a superficial level? That's really hard.

Luckily, Deeper Dating made it easy. And now, for me, the City of New York feels a little smaller, a little more friendly. I know now that there are at least 30 women in the five boroughs that I have a good connection with.

That gives me more than friends. That gives me hope.

Deeper Dating for gay men and lesbians takes place at the Community Center and locations across the country. Check it out at DeeperDating.com.