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The Healing Gift of Non-Gratitude

The Healing Gift of Non-Gratitude

Cultivating gratitude is a wonderful thing, but forced gratitude clouds our discrimination, and usually mutates into self-recrimination. We’re all exhorted to feel gratitude, but who teaches us to honor feelings of non-gratitude: emptiness, longing, or a gut-level sense that something’s wrong? These feelings hold half the key for achieving our most precious life-goals. read more

Four Signs That Healthy Love Is On Its Way

Four Signs That Healthy Love Is On Its Way

I’ve found that four conditions often forecast the advent of real and healthy love. Love’s arrival feels like magic; a gift of luck. Yet we can invite that luck by approaching our dating life differently. If these shifts are happening for you, be encouraged. You’re probably well on the way to finding the kind of […]

Why We Fear our Deepest Gifts

Why We Fear our Deepest Gifts

Self-improvement is often no more than self-criticism in a terrific outfit. Our culture focuses obsessively on the endless allure of improvement, but there’s a much more thrilling area of inquiry: What parts of ourselves are aching for expression, and why do we flee their heat? Read More 

Three Myths That Keep Us From Finding Love

Three Myths That Keep Us From Finding Love

Beneath the glitz of much dating advice lies a cynical reverence for the power of packaging and promotion: “Women, be a vixen. Men, learn to seduce. Everyone keep your partner guessing. Lose weight. Be confident. Get out there more.” At the end of the day, this approach doesn’t lead to love. It leads to insecurity […]

Deeper Dating: The Three Steps That Lead to Love

Deeper Dating: The Three Steps That Lead to Love

A message for all single people: The way we search for love usually determines the kind of love we find. Our culture assails us with romanticized images of love, yet encourages us to play dehumanizing games in order to find it. The three steps I describe will lead you toward real love, but they will […]