I thought I would share a story to hopefully make you feel like you are not alone. I got a call from someone I had been seeing, to say that he found out he had herpes. I was a little freaked out – I think more so because i thought he was thinking I had given it to him (I don’t believe my husband was faithful so it could have been possible he had given it to me). I went and got tested right away and what the doctor told me was this. About 90% of people have herpes – a lot of them don’t know it and don’t have visible signs of it. He said that if a person has genital herpes there is a medicine you can take daily to avoid outbreaks. Also, he said if it turned out that I had herpes than this particular guy and I would not have to worry (meaning if you both have it you can’t give it to each other) and if I didn’t have it, than the person who has it could take the medicine to prevent (up to 90 some percent) giving it to me. As it turned out, I did not have it. The doctor also told this man that he had NOT gotten herpes recently (nowhere near the time we were dating) and that he probably had this since back in college. The man never had visible outbreaks….he happened to go to the doctor for something else and ended up finding out he had herpes.
I just wanted you to know that your dating life is not over because of this information. It seems that a lot of other people have one form of herpes or the other and have happy relationships despite that fact.
There is a book out called “The Tao of Dating” which I think I will get myself, after hearing some good things about it, and maybe you might get something out of it too. Ken, have you heard of it?
Good luck with wherever your path is leading you!
~Marla