I definitely think that you CAN change your beliefs about yourself, which will lead to finding the right loving, accepting man for you. The fact that you already did something you would not have done in the past (going to the literary event) shows that you are already making changes. I think it is fantastic that you attended that event – and glad you had such a great time. I think that sometimes in order to change our habitual way of thinking or get ourselves out of a rut, we need to do something out of the ordinary or put ourselves in a unique environment to wake us up.
I haven’t done anything unusual the past two weeks when it comes to relationships (other than remaining open to all the people I meet along the way), but I did find myself in a rut last week when it came to working on my photography business. I got caught up for a few days in the business/accounting side of things (which I don’t care for so much) and realized it made all my creativity & positive energy come to a standstill for a few days. That is when I decided I needed a little shaking up & needed to do something different from my usual routine. Instead of working out at home like usual, I decided to take a pole fit class. After that I went and had a massage using a certificate I had for almost 2yrs. After doing those things I found myself being really inspired again and was able to think creatively once more. I guess the point I am trying to make is that getting out of our comfort zones or doing something different & just having fun can result in bringing unexpected things into our lives like newfound inspiration; friendships; discoveries about yourself; or a great new relationship.