I just wrote a crazy long post in response to this…. I mean crazy long like I was typing for 30 minutes. Of course, I somehow lost it/deleted it right as I was about to post it, lol.
But I think – I hope – that the process of writing it was what I needed, and not the process of having it read or receiving feedback on it.
The short version is, my “next brave step” is to STAY OPEN.
I recently did several concrete things to develop several of my core gifts. I also had 2 dates, both of which I had moments of revelation and growth during the date and was able to apply things from class. (I detailed all of this in the lost post!) Then, as a direct result of one of the concrete steps I had made, I had a new, potential relationship of inspiration seemingly drop out of the sky and into my lap. All of a sudden I am scared shitless that I am just not ready. I am such a work-in-progress, whereas this particular man (at least initially) seems to have lived a life committed to self-development and consciousness in regard to his gifts and relationships. A partnership needs to be on equal footing. I may have things to learn from him, but could he learn from me? He might open my soul, but can I open his? I am afraid that when he “sees” me, he will decide I am not the whole, conscious, spiritual partner he seeks. I wonder whether he experiences the same types of fears? Or is he long past those insecurities?
I’m trying to acknowledge the progress of baby steps in the right direction, vs. running like an Olympic sprinter in the opposite direction.
Yup, STAY OPEN.