Single people are sold a terrible bill of goods. Look at the cover of almost any magazine that offers advice on dating and sex. What are they telling readers to do? Lose weight, dress better, stop being so needy; in other words, improve yourself if you hope to find love.

Unfortunately, this type of “hold your breath and pull your stomach in” advice is doomed from the start. When we grasp for a goal by trying to reshape ourselves, we end up disempowered and diminished.

I think there’s a wiser path to finding love. And it turns out that this path is also the path to personal greatness. It is the path of our gifts. My Psychology Today blog, Finding Love teaches a wiser, more self-loving approach to the search for love, and it has touched the lives of almost a million readers.

In this dynamic, life-changing talk, I teach any single audience how to transform the way they search for love though a three step process:

• Naming your unique Core Gifts
• Leading with your gifts in your dating life
• Only pursuing and cultivating your “attractions of inspiration”

Dating does not have to be a painful numbers game that favors the young and stereotypically beautiful. No matter your age, weight or life circumstances, if you follow these three suggestions, your dating life will change, and you’ll feel yourself moving closer to a truly loving relationship.